Full disclosure: when I showed this craft to someone, their first response was “Yeah but, what’s the point?" And let's be honest, I have no idea.

But like, what’s the point of anything, really? Much like this wonderful fall season reminds us, life is just one long march to death. Everything is futile. No one will remember us, let alone this stupid craft.

But then I also thought, well what point do tiny gourds have if not for decorative gourd season? (Probably feeding squirrels, but who cares). Aren't we all just tiny gourds trying to find our purpose in life? And if decorating gourds with plants and confetti brings me/you/us a glimpse of joy in this cold, dark world, then maybe that’s the point. Or don't do this craft at all, I don't care.

So hey, let’s craft.

What You'll Need For Pointless Party Pumpkins:

Pumpkins, preferably white

Mod Podge

Greenery of some sort (I used eucalyptus, some people use ferns)

Foam Brush

Confetti

An understanding and/or fear of death

What you'll need for The Deep Abyss:

Gin

Vermouth

Ice

Martini Shaker

NO GARNISH GARNISHES ARE POINTLESS

Disclaimers!

YOLO.

Here goes nothing because what is real!

1.) Cover your table with newspaper. Or in my case, a catalogue because no one reads newspapers anymore even print media is dying everything is over. And then gather your ingredients. Yay!

At least the catalogue makes for a pretty backdrop or something.

2.) Pick the leaves off your eucalyptus stems and pick out whatever colors of confetti you want.

Beauty is fleeting and so is the sale on that lamp!

3.) Create a pattern in your head or just free-hand it. Either way, start Mod Podging. I used a combination of the sponge brush and also saying "F this" and using my hands. Every artist has her own style, ya know?

4.) Let the first coat of 'podge dry and then reapply as many coats as needed. I did about three. The eucalyptus (or I'm guessing whatever plant you use) was a real jerk about staying down. So either mod podge it to death or be ok with a more "organic"/"interactive" look to your pattern where the eucalyptus just kinda sticks out.

5.) I didn't do this one ^^. My mom did. But I figured it was a good example of plants being jerks about staying down. Also, covering flowers with mod podge will smother them until they lose their color because everything dies remember.

6.) So anyway, after you've done enough coats of 'podge, let them dry for a long time. Like overnight or maybe 4 hours. Something like that. Then decorate your home to remind yourself that life is a journey and it's ok if girls just wanna have fun but also death.

Throwing that confetti around really got out of hand.

Part II - Numbing that Craft Pain

AKA Drinky Drinky Time!

The Deep Abyss

Cracked ice

2 1/2 ounces poison aka dry gin

1/2 ounce dry vermouth

NO GARNISH

Fill your cocktail shaker with cracked ice. Combine gin and vermouth in said shaker and shake until you start to question what we're doing here aka about 20 seconds. Then strain into martini glass. Do not garnish because WHAT'S THE POINT. Quick heads up to Nietzsche for the inspiration to this drink which is actually just a gin martini.

Well I have a rule that once a trigger for an existential crises enters a blog, it's time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this weeks(ish) Crafty Hour and it brings you hours of friendship happiness.