Hahahaha. Oh man. You guys. This is terrible. Honestly. As bad as my crafts are....this is probably the worst. And it's not even really a craft. Want proof? Perfect.

Mine:

This is legit the worst thing I've ever done. And I'm well aware of how bad my crafts are.

Pinterest:

But hey, it still tasted good. That and we did a wine tasting beforehand. So, ya know. Also this was my birthday party so lay off.

What You'll Need for Red Velvet Nutella Cake IN A JAR:

Chocolate Cake Mix

Red Food Coloring

Cream Cheese Frosting

Eggs

Oil

Microwave

Ball Jar/any jar

A calculator/nerdy friend

Someone who can bake.

What You Need for Emma’s Birthday Drink/Wine Tasting:

Three bottles of wine

Paper Bags

Markers

A working liver

Words like “effervescence” “Mature” (with a hard T) and "Emma this party is awesome" in your vocabulary.

Disclaimers!

The amount of wine in your taste test party depends on how many people you have. Obviously. We had three people participating so we had three bottles. Jk…we had four. People. Or bottles? Hmmm.

A different website recommended actually baking cupcakes and then just putting them into the jar layered with frosting and Nutella. Which probably would have looked nicer than my monstrosity. But then I wouldn’t get to microwave cake in a jar. Which seemed really fun to me at the time. Priorities.

It’s my birthday! And I want to EAT CAKE EVEN IF IT LOOKS LIKE MURDER.

Let's make Murder Cake!

1.) Alter the recipe according to how many jars you plan on filling. One small Ball Jar holds about two cupcakes. You can do this one of two ways. 1) Have a friend who loves math and wants to divide the recipe by 24:

Well this is a nice person. That was me.

OR drink more wine and decide that making a half-batch of cake means less math and more cake to eat. Sold.

2.) Now that we've decided we're making a half-batch of cake, we'll just follow the instructions on the back of the box (splitting everything in half) and everything should go great, right? NO.

3.) Once you've combined all the eggs and cake mix and stuff in a mixing bowl, throw in a bunch of red food coloring. Which, did you know that's how they make Red Velvet Cake? It's just chocolate cake with red food coloring. That is some bullshit.

4) Pour it into a Ball Jar with all the hope and naive excitement of someone who thinks they can actually do things.

Sure, this will go as great as the rest of your 20's you poor, sweet child.

5) Now for the inevitable downfall. Time to microwave. But it's cool, just stay in denial.

Dead baby joke? No. No you're right. But I mean.....no you're right.

6) Let it cool aka eat batter and drink wine to compensate for your rapidly declining confidence.

Eat through the pain. Just eat through the pain.

7) Now that the cake (and your temper) has cooled, scoop out the top half of the cake and layer/throw in the Nutella-cream cheese frosting. Then throw in the top half and top it with some more Nutella-cream cheese frosting.

8) Ta...daaa?

9) Let's just compare again, shall we?

10) Eat it anyway cuz it all tastes the same in the dark AMIRIGHT.

Part II – Making the pain of a botched craft and a 27th birthday go away:

AKA Drinky Drinky time!!

Your very own wine tasting:

Bottles of Wine

Paper Bags

Markers

Opinions

1.) Have everyone pick out/bring a bottle of wine. Cover the label with…anything. We chose paper. You could even put them in paper bags if you wanted. We didn’t because we’re crafty. Or we didn’t have small enough bags. Whichever. Label and drink! Have everyone vote. We just threw out fingers rock, paper, scissor style, but I suppose you could actually have people write things down and tally votes and bla bla too much work.

Well I have a rule that once evidence of a three person party appears in a blog, it’s time to wrap it up. I hope you enjoyed this week’s Crafty Hour and that it brings you hours of friendship happiness.